I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
