Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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