NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize