Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
