he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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