i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
