I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
