I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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