Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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