You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize