And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
