I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
