this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
