so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
