Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
