if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
