You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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