I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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