You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
