I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize