I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
