Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
