Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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