Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
