Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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