could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize