Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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