And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
