if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
