and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
