If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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