My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
