Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
