ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
