Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
accomplished twins. life is a go
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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