Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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