Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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