Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize