Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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