I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
