Walk of Shame. In a state park.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
