Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
