I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
