I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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