She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
