Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Damn victory sex feels great
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
