I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
