apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
