If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
