so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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