Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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