So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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