there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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