So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
