we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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