I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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