I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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