how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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