I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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