I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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