I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
